Brexit is Britain having a middle age crisis

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There is obviously a hardcore of Britons who want to leave the European Union whatever the circumstances, no matter the consequences.


These are presumably people who don’t travel abroad, don’t need a job, aren’t too fussed about the Americans buying the NHS and are quite happy to grow their own while stocking up on baked beans.

Not to mention the added bonus of not having to deal with corrupt Europeans as Britain sails off into the sunset to do all kinds of free trade deals with its partners, although making it clear it doesn’t want too many Johnny Foreigners arriving in Blighty.

I’m still having a hard time understanding what Brexit is really about. Why the mad rush to push past the doors of the members club to roam alone in the big wide world.

What has the European Union done to Britain to make the country want to cut its own limbs off to free itself from the tangled mess that Brexit has evolved into?

Sure, there was a referendum where the majority voted to leave but this wasn’t a mandate for the British government to leave at whatever the cost – “do or die” as Boris Johnson is fond of saying.

The British public didn’t vote for isolationism, job losses, food rationing, medical shortages, travel delays and business gridlock under a bureaucratic nightmare of excess red tape.

Many have brushed this off as project fear, even though a government study highlighted this “worst- case scenario”.

Plus, three million EU citizens residing in Britain would be in legal limbo while the economy would keep crashing the same designated self-drive car.

Boris Johnson said he was committed to making the union stronger, but Scotland will vote for independence if a no-deal Brexit comes to town, England is already divided over the issue, Ireland doesn’t want a hard border and Wales is seeing where the wind blows.

If Brexit is such a good idea why Britain spending billions on stockpiling for a rainy day is, while businesses fear job losses and closures when year zero begins after October 31.

Downing Street’s diehard Brexit squad believes it will get a better deal by steaming into Brussels to crack heads – like a scene from Clockwork Orange – to scare the Europeans into giving Britain a divorce settlement on its terms. 

Once the slave masters in Brussels realise that Britain isn’t bluffing about shooting itself in the foot; Merkel, Macron and the Spanish guy will tear up the withdrawal agreement and throw the Irish backstop into the Thames.

Britain says it wants to make its own decisions – well it was doing that before Brexit – apart from the EU directives that improved working conditions, food safety, consumer rights and protected the environment.

On a good day, Brexit is less to do with the will of the British people but more akin to middle age reactionaries who rage about being told what to do by aloof EU bureaucrats while they are quite happy to let their wives choose their socks for them.

The argument about Britain being able to do trade deals on better terms is also baffling when the 28-member bloc is the world’s best free trade bonanza.

Somehow Britain believes it is going to succeed much better on its own by sending a civil servant from Whitehall in a bowler hat to show the natives how it’s done.

While this Brexit debacle has made Europeans and third country nationals, feel a tad unwelcome in the UK – expats living in the EU also have an uncertain future – how is Britain going to sell itself to the scientists, doctors and nurses that it needs.

Brexiteers feel they have all the answers, despite the many unknown unknowns, a stiffer upper lip and wartime spirit will, presumably, see them through to win the day.

I’m going to say something wildly provocative by claiming that Europe has been good for Britain – a Europe the British defiantly defended with honour and sacrifice.

Europe isn’t perfect, no member’s club is. There will always be decisions and characters you dislike, but if the greater good prevails (i.e. peace and prosperity in our lifetime) then it is worth preserving.

Needlessly, the argument has turned nasty with people on both sides of the Brexit argument outing their opponents as traitors or shouting down the opposite view as a betrayal.

Brexit has become divisive, an all-consuming issue that constitutes the biggest political and social shift that the UK has faced since the war.

Britain was never totally in love with Europe, but it stayed for the sake of the children, now in a mid-life crisis meltdown, the UK has fallen head over heels for an American pole dancer, determined to travel the world in a camper van.

Understandably, the jilted wife is not giving up the house or the kids for her errant husband’s whimsical fantasy, although she is prepared for an amicable, face-saving divorce.

As it turns out, the man with an unquenchable thirst for his newfound freedom is prepared to demolish the house, tear up the divorce papers and refuses to pay for his children’s upkeep.

His friends down at the pub have tried to persuade him to re-think his destructive behaviour by making the separation as smooth as possible – or better still ask for forgiveness, then kiss and makeup.

This wayward husband and father has until October 31 to keep it in the family or take the long and winding high road.