.
Observing the dog’s breakfast that the Brits have made out of Brexit, I sometimes wonder whether we give Cypriot politicians unfair criticism about being clueless and self-serving.
At least our lawmakers know which side their bread is buttered, they wouldn’t do anything to upset the status quo or their privileged position in society where their behaviour is under the flimsiest of media and public scrutiny.
Cypriot MPs can basically screw up, get it wrong, treat their expense account like a wedding gift and nobody is going to raise an eyebrow.
The House of Representatives resembled a Disney ride for the under 10s when compared with British democracy and the intricate workings of the House of Commons – well not anymore.
Not even our ramshackle band of lawyers and male-dominated business people turned politicians could create the type of train wreck that British MPs have found themselves travelling on because they were sick of being part of the Brussels empire.
Consensus has gone out the window, division and divisible conduct have become the norm with a Prime Minister doing a good job of becoming the Tory Party terminator – a red glint in her eye as her broken robot body defiantly utter “I’ll be back” as another ‘meaning vote’ bites the dust.
Due political process has now become muddled, indecisive, short-sighted and mired in little Britain isolationism with Brexiteers from the 19th century trying to dictate the government agenda as if the will of the people was a spiteful power-play against Theresa May.
Nobody has a clue where the Brexit shambles is leading but their fellow Europeans are standing on the grassy hill scratching their heads while May loses another Waterloo as her troops desert her.
As ardent Leavers will point out, 17.4 million Brits voted to depart the European Union but I’m sure they wanted a proper send-off, an invitation to come back and visit on amicable terms not permanently struck off the guest list.
Like the Walking Dead, a series that offered excitement and invention, Brexit has become just another zombie soap opera surviving on different ways to kill its own future.
Britain has been given ample leeway by Brussels because it is an important member of the bloc. Be assured that if this was Cyprus behaving badly – agreeing on a withdrawal agreement then trying to pretend it never signed one – Nicosia would have been bundled out of the club and dumped somewhere near Iceland.
Having said that, maybe Cyprus and the UK could do an MP exchange where Nicosia would dispatch Cypriot MPs to hammer out Brexit in London and British MPs would come over to plot a road map of the Cyprus problem.
Neither group would get very far but even that would be progress of sorts compared to the current stalemate.
Lawmakers rejected May’s Brexit deal for a third time, leaving Britain’s withdrawal from the European Union in turmoil on the very day it was supposed to quit the bloc.
The way forward is now extremely unclear on how, when or even whether Britain will leave the EU, and plunges the three-year Brexit crisis to a deeper level of chaos for the world’s fifth-biggest economy.
May even offered to resign – a Cypriot politician would never contemplate such a thing – to get half her deal through parliament and for a third time her nose was rubbed in the battlefield of defeat.
With parliament intent on self-flagellation, the few options left on the floor include asking the EU for a long delay, parliament forcing an election or a “no-deal” exit.
As British MPs are intent on gatecrashing any Brexit agreement, there is only one realistic option for the public – have a jolly good march to signal total disaffection with the UK political class.
It’s either that or do what the Cypriots do – lower your expectations to minus zero, disregard everything as a dirty lie or a conspiracy, then vote for the same circus act next time around.
