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Sordidly famous people only come to Cyprus if they really have to on the way to somewhere better or are bribed to stay for a few hours as a publicity stunt.
The Queen and the Pope have visited Cyprus, but they were on a world tour and had run out of diverse countries to visit.
There have been some famous footballers who arrived to play internationals in Nicosia like when Ronaldo came and scored four goals against Cyprus after the crowd unwisely taunted him with “Messi” jibes.
Ayia Napa inspired a music scene back in the day but that didn’t go down too well with the authorities who are still trying to turn the party resort into a luxury getaway for wealthy middle-class families, a kind of chilled out Ibiza without the tunes.
Cyprus has a hard time promoting itself as a glamorous playground for the rich and famous, sure there are wealthy visitors who like to throw their money around, but I wouldn’t call it a bohemian paradise of artists and intellectuals.
On the other hand, this is not a high-tech, happening place where movers and shakers do business deals that will change the world, we can’t even get the buses to run on time, if at all.
Apart from halloumi, Cyprus doesn’t actually make anything of technical brilliance like the Germans or bring anything fresh to the digital economy while our contribution to the creative arts is kept in a box under the stairs.
So, Cyprus sticks to what it knows bests, roll out the ancient history and monuments to yesterday’s bygone era served with a sprinkling of mythology that designates the island as the birthplace of Aphrodite – you can’t beat the goddess of love on history’s popularity menu.
The island’s scar of division can also serve as a tourist attraction – world’s last divided capital and all that – but the wounds are too deep to have a Berlin industry around the wall we seem unable to pull down.
This is partly why Cyprus has a mild identity crisis, it doesn’t quite know how it wants to present itself to the outside – is it an island that has overcome the clash of civilisations to be a modern, vibrant Republic of the European Union.
And has Cyprus become a place where you can do business or is it weighed down by old-school bureaucracy, cronyism, gender inequality and a place that suffocates bright minds while shunning multi-culturalism?
We are failing badly in making the best use of a well-educated and skilled population while limiting people’s horizons to getting a government job so they can have their cake and eat it too, as one EU official observed recently.
Cyprus has famous sandy beaches, Richard the Lionheart got married here, his namesake Richard Burton use to hang out in pre-1974 Famagusta, Shakespeare set Othello on the island and then we begin to struggle to embellish the brand name.
Not to worry, all is not lost on the culture and heritage frontline because Oscar-winning Hollywood actor Nicolas Cage will be starring in a sci-fi martial arts movie ‘Jiu Jitsu’ to be filmed entirely on location in Cyprus.
Invest Cyprus hopes this will catapult the island’s film industry into Hollywood territory as an endorsement of its ‘olivewood’ promotion drive to make the island a movie destination.
I don’t want to rain on anybody’s parade, but a film called ‘Jiu Jitsu’ featuring Cage doing some funky fight moves against an alien called Brax doesn’t immediately scream blockbuster material.
Cage is obviously a Hollywood name, but he has done more bad films than good ones, so Cyprus shouldn’t start setting its sights above B Movie material.
Although it does set down a marker for the Cyprus audiovisual industry, it will need serious investment and nurturing of talent but are the people in charge of this Olivewood project good enough to build a solid foundation.
Where are the incentives and resources for local filmmakers to succeed and flourish, there seems to be an absence of encouragement for such nascent talent to grow and survive?
Attracting the odd Hollywood movie with tax incentives doesn’t create an industry, attitude, culture and vision does.
Invest Cyprus is confident ‘Jiu Jitsu’ will position the island on the global cinematic stage as it takes its first steps to movie stardom.
Ironically, Cyprus could finally become famous on the back of a movie that features choreographed unarmed combat against an alien invader…sound familiar.
