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At school, science was not my forte, and after smashing a light with a stool in the chemistry lab in a fit of anger it was never going to be a career path I would walk down.
Almost as confusing as the periodic table was sex education classes which featured a chicken, some rabbits, a hairy man in a beard who lost his clothes on the way back from Woodstock and an equally hirsute woman.
Sex education had nothing to do with sex or relationships but some strange biological freak show where you giggled out of embarrassment because watching adults being intimate was like stumbling over your parents having a kiss – gross.
Anyway, I’m not sure what they teach in schools anymore, although I doubt whether the Cyprus education system is overly worried about promoting loving relationships outside marriage, gender equality and same-sex partners.
Sexual identity is undergoing a revolution which makes being a heterosexual married man who sticks to one life partner as endangered as the white rhino.
I presume that the whole sexual revolution phenomenon bypassed a Cyprus that prided itself on its conservative values of the family and church-inspired moral behaviour.
This is not an island where the majority of repressed individuals can freely express their sexuality, especially if they are gay, lesbian or transgender or simply want to be a free spirit living a life of one-night stands and disposable relationships.
In one way or another, society is there to make us conform to the norms, so as not to disgrace or embarrass our parents, children or relatives.
The pressure is there to conform, be it in the way we dress, interact with others or the life choices we make, we simply don’t want to appear an oddball with weird sexual predilections.
If you’re not married by a certain age people think there is something wrong with you, single parents aren’t exactly celebrated as everyday working-class heroes and coming out (whatever that means) if your gay is not a thing.
Cyprus is full of people who repress their true sexual nature, lock it in a cupboard somewhere until it is safe to come out and express their genuine feelings – in a controlled environment of course.
This is a society where we prefer our taboos to be dressed in camouflage so they can slip under the radar and kept a secret until the silence becomes so deafening it needs to come into the light, even then we might not recognise it.
And it took a puritanical Greek Orthodox priest, espousing the kind of bigoted dangerous nonsense they used to hang witches for or heretics during the Spanish Inquisition, to open our eyes.
Enter our very own Torquemada determined to uphold religious orthodoxy of the realm by targeting homosexuals whom, presumably, he would burn on the cross in full public view.
Police are investigating the bishop for possible hate speech after he claimed that homosexuality is passed on if a pregnant woman enjoys anal sex.
This happened after an advisor to the President urged the attorney general to act after the disparaging comments made by Morphou Bishop Neophytos, during a public event in June went viral.
Not sure why the police had to be told to do something about it, as there had been complaints before. Seemingly attacks on gays, verbal or otherwise, are not a top priority for them.
Attorney general Costas Clerides instructed the chief of police to “investigate the possibility of any criminal offence committed” in connection with statements made by the bishop about “homosexuals and related matters”.
Moreover, the offensive comments were made in a public place and not in private conversation, organisers of the ‘spiritual dialogue’ also thought the Bishop was on message because they produced a video of his science-defying claptrap.
Maybe the widespread negative reaction to this science fiction is a healthy sign that we are living in a more tolerant society that is beginning to respect and accept diversity.
Even the government was "greatly troubled and dismayed" by the comments on homosexuality, which it said were needlessly stirring up social unrest.
Government spokesman Prodromos Prodromou said the bishop's remarks "insult the dignity and equality" of Cypriots and should be retracted.
Costas Gavrielides, an adviser to the president on acceptance and diversity, revealed that in four years since the adoption of the law on hate crimes, police have not investigated a complaint nor launched legal proceedings for homophobic or transphobic hate speech.
Cyprus decriminalised homosexuality in 1998 and has rolled back previous conservative attitudes to same-sex relationships. It outlawed discriminating against gay people in 2004 and introduced civil unions in 2015.
Nevertheless, the Church has failed to take a strong stance in reprimanding the Bishop while his supporters defend his views as based on the Holy scriptures.
Well, they must have gone to a school that didn’t teach science, biology or religious education because Christianity or any other type of faith is not founded on hate or prejudice.
I’m not going to say we should all love each other because it might get taken the wrong way down at the congregation
